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Zoo Animals On Wheels
Chris auditions for the local community musical by lamely dancing to a rousing version of "Alley Cat." Amazingly, he wins the starring role of the sad wildebeest-much to the leading lady Sharon's disgust. After a long, grueling rehearsal the theater group manages to put on a play that is so sickenly awful that Chris's parents walk out and violent fights erupt between the remaining audience of "actors."
Married
Chris meets a gorgeous model, falls in love, gets married, drifts apart, has an affair, gets caught, seeks couples counseling, gets divorced, and begins dating someone new- all during the course of one day.
The Big City
Chris finally takes his first trip through the giant double doors of the big city, where he is promptly slipped a Mickey. When he awakes he can't find his wallet. A beautiful reporter looking for a story puts the innocent idiot on the front page and the entire town takes "Wallet Boy" into their hearts. That is until it comes out that Chris simply forgot his wallet at home- then the entire town tries to kill him.
Neptune 2000
When a two man submarines that Chris ordered from a comic book twenty years ago finally arrives, he talks his dad into spending some quality time together. They climb inside to take it for a test run in Chris' bathtub and become hopelessly trapped under two feet of water. With air running out and leaks springing everywhere, Fred prays for death and occasionally bitch slaps his son who is trying to use their last moments to bond.
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